Out in Queens, Carlotta Terranova, a retired mother of two, haggles a quarter off the price of four tomatoes. They had spots. On her way home, her purse is snatched (net profit: $10) and she's knocked to the pavement roughly, so roughly she can't even sit fully upright in the time it takes a neighborhood guy to run to the church, fetch Father Pete, and the two of them to return. Could it be her bad heart, first mentioned back in the pilot?
Vinnie rushes in from AC. Carlotta has a broken arm, but is otherwise resting comfortably. Mr. Steelgrave will be covering all of her bills. When the head of the cardiology unit tells Vince not to bother his mother just now, he ignores her.
The shock of seeing Vinnie is so overwhelming that Carlotta immediately goes into arrest and is moved into the ICU while Vinnie kicks himself for, you know, ignoring the head of the cardiology unit and bothering his mom.
Soul-searching, Vinnie wanders the old neighborhood. Some of the younger guys want to get connected, but Vinnie dissuades them with lurid stories of hot prison sex. Is Vince a survivor?
The local launderer, who happens to be the winner of the all-Queens Harry Shearer lookalike contest, tells of how things have changed, and that Patrice doesn't care about the hood, which allows all these dang furriners to move in. This leads to a greatly overlong sequence where Vinnie follows the money from thugs to collection, and learns in roundabout fashion that Sonny's actually behind it. It's his way of paying back Patrice for interfering with his business, turning Pat's own turf against their nominal boss while also (thinly) lining his pockets.
Vinnie meets with Frank to report Sonny's insurgency against Patrice; Frank responds with a declaration best suited to being seen out of context in the episode preview: "There is going to be war between Patrice, Steelgrave, and Mahoney.. and we're going to win it!" The fervor really comes from nowhere. Especially given that Mahoney has been a non-issue and Harry has so far been completely loyal. Preface the statement with an 'if' and it at least feels like less of non sequitur. Instead, it's more classic bad writing, designed to wrap up a scene someone couldn't think of a way to end; Vinnie changes the subject from the war to his mother. He's going to tell her he's a fed. Frank, of course, goes crazy and we realize there's a new Wiseguy cliche: the empty threat where Frank says he'll pull Vinnie off a case. This happens in almost every episode following in the first season. Vinnie, whom we all know plays it the way he wants, storms out to the hospital.
Not before Lifeguard, doing his first field work, has bugged Carlotta's hospital room. Pete convinces Carlotta to grant her wayward son an audience, and she's about to throw Vinnie out anyway when he hands her his OCB badge (real mobsters take note: make a fake government ID; your elderly mom will be none the wiser) and she melts. It seems almost realistic, until she starts talking about his "working for the government" out loud. . Carlotta exposes her hypocrisy; that she should've believed in her son no matter what people said and immediately lies about having never stopped loving him. It's a tender scene.
Lifeguard plays the tape for Frank; thankfully Frank can't sit through the whole thing and shuts it off. He then gets an alternate version where Carlotta kicks Vinnie out before any security can be breached. Which version will be played for Director Exposition? It's all up to Frank.
Shortly after, Sonny has business in New York and wants to visit with her. Father Pete is there as well, and Sonny starts things off awkwardly by making a donation to the parish. He's then alone with Carlotta, speaking italian and talking about honor and family. Carlotta commiserates with Sonny, yet every one-shot of her face she's rolling her eyes or shrinking back in disgust. In the end though, she wins him over and manages to get through the entire conversation without using the words "works for the government." Frank, listening on the same bug, is pleased with her performance until Sonny leaves. Alone with Pete she resumes dropping the g-bombs.
Still, when it comes time to hand over the tape to the RD, it's the short version. Frank's a bad liar, but, luckily, the RD is an even worse detective.
This episode takes place around October 20th 1987, making it increasingly likely that "The Birthday Surprise" was aired or shot out of order.
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Pros: No Loyalty Questioning or kicking the dog.
Cons: Thin plot received a lot of laborious padding, terrible acting from Father Pete.
Then: B
Now: C+
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Episode 7: A Deal's A deal
Last week we received no kick the dog moments. That was good, because this one's a kick the dog episode. The entire A plot centers on Sonny being an unrelenting dick.
The A plot: Joey Romanowski, one of his lounge acts, has a hit record and wants a year off to go on tour. When his agent broaches the subject, Sonny beats him up. As is typical, the beating occurs in a crowded room full of witnesses.After, Joey tries the nicer approach (perhaps he should've tried it first -- his lounge outfit is amazing, though) and Sonny flatly refuses him. Vinnie points out that after a tour, Joey'd come back a bigger draw. Sonny disagrees, and paints a lengthy cautionary scenario where Joey will be seduced by the glamorous life of a one-hit wonder and never come back. Furthermore, he'll fall into a life of drugs and die penniless. Lounge acts are so precious in AC that this cannot be allowed to happen.
Joey, growing more stupid yet, goes to see Mahoney at his Philadelphia branch of Satriale's. Mack reluctantly agrees to talk to Sonny about the contract situation. Though when he does, he's not talking. He's yelling, angry for the only time in the entire series. Mack goes well out of his way to spin Sonny up on the grounds that this one guy asking for a new contract is a sign that Sonny's leadership in AC is flagging and that any day now it'll all collapse.
Is Mack doing this as a friendly ass-kicking, or is he looking over the territory?Vinnie arrives with a package that came through his dock; it's from the Revere Mint -- a replica rifle that Dave had ordered for Sonny. This swings Sonny to melancholy, and Mack, calm now, suggests he reconnect with friends from his youth.
They turn out to be Don Joseph "Joey Bags" Baglia, a retired boss* from the Bronx, his wife, and their daughter Teresa. There's some history between her and Sonny, and it plays out to conclusion in the remaining episodes of the arc. Quite offhandedly, Joey Bags suggests that if Vinnie is the right hand, he should be made. Sonny laughs it off; Vinnie had made his bones already; the whole sword and pistol bit isn't necessary. Bags is offended at that, and Sonny caves in. Vinnie's getting made!
Sonny sends a couple of dirty cops to deal with Joey; the badder of the pair half-strangles the singer, crushing his larynx. Oblivious to the degree of damage, Sonny sends Vin to visit Joey in the hospital to let him know they're still friends. What a guy.
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| Where Wayne gets it from. |
Frank continues to work his B plot like a pro, enlisting Joey R to testify against Sonny as payback for destroying his career.
Vinnie's ceremony is portrayed as a relic of a bygone era; Sonny, Vinnie, Patrice, and Mahoney
seem to be the only men under 60. The oldsters bicker about the form of the ceremony ("burn or bleed?"), which language to use (yeah, old-school mafiosi of the mid-century insist on English.. riiiight) and the younger men just want to get it over with. Now, if I recall my mob lore well enough, the ceremonies are supposed to be highly secret affairs. Yet here everyone from all the subplots converge on the house. Frank, the dirty cops, and least plausibly, Joey R are waiting outside when the ceremony ends. Dirty cop marches right up to Sonny, hands him an envelope with the pictures; Joey steps out of the shadows and shoots him.
How Joey got here and why he's changed his mind about testifying -- who knows? He tries to kill Sonny but takes out a nearby mobster instead. Frank's feds kill Joey, and for the coup de grace Frank switches the picture envelope with an obviously doctored set of him meeting with Pat the cat.In the end, life goes on. A new band auditions for the vacant lounge gig at the Royal Diamond. Sonny will help their act any way he can...
Once again, that look o' horror!
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* The exact structure of the NYC mafia in Wiseguy is never elaborated on within this arc, and only partially defined when the mob is revisited at length in season three. Patrice is portrayed as the sole boss of the city, though there's plenty of other bosses around later in the arc (and, again in the third season), and they must have territory somewhere. Joey Bags is retired; Patrice later says that Bags doesn't hold much power, now, but is widely liked and respected. Did Pat the Cat take over when Joey Bags retired? Is he really the only boss, or is he just the New York don who is stuck dealing with the Jersey crew in the fashion of Johnny Sack? Joey Bags, Johnny Sack. Coincidence?
Pros: Psycho Dan Lauria, good ease-in for the Baglias.
Cons: Sonny's pretzel logic of betrayal, Mack being way out of character.
Then: B
Now: B-
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Episode 8: The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
We open with a long sequence set at the St. Genesius (patron of, among others, thieves and actors...) benefit dinner, where much of the mob has gathered. Harry, ever elegant with the exposition, fills in detail: all the major players of our drama have old ties to this neighborhood, this church. At times like this they all get together, differences and agendas aside. Rival bosses, senators, the IRA, they're all here.
The dinner sequence economically puts both the A and B plots into play. Sonny is still in his melancholy, and decides to finally settle down; he wants to marry Teresa Baglia, who we met last week. Sonny's new, old flame is the catalyst for the A plot; he and Vinnie have a show fight about her, and everyone's watching. For once, Sonny's penchant for public business pays off.
Patrice's man Scullisi notes the fight, and Pat, who seems to have read ahead a few pages, knows that Sonny is planning to marry into the Baglias, a mob political move that would strengthen his ties to New York. That would throw a wrench into Pat the cat's long-term plans for Jersey -- Paul needs a little more help to pull off a coup before Sonny's wed.A second mock fight, this time in front of a heretofore dubious Sid, is enough for Pat the cat to make an offer to Vinnie. He's been meeting with the heads of other families(whoever they are..), and with the exception of Mahoney, they'll keep out of any regime changes in Atlantic City. Vince naturally wants time to mull the offer.
He then talks to all of his various family: first Sonny, who's practicing diplomacy Corleone style. Frank, who's so delighted there will be a war with the chance to sweep up half the east coast mob, he doesn't quite see Vince's divided loyalties. And finally Mama Terranova, who nudges her son's wayward moral compass with several ounces of prime prosciutto.
Fortified, Vinnie goes to meet with Pat the cat. After a brief dance, Pat's right up front: He's going to hit Sonny on the morning of the wedding. Vinnie agrees to leave a gun for Patrice's guy and goes on his way. Pat wanders back to the rear of the bar and instructs Aldo Baglia to kill Vinnie after Sonny's gone. Aldo's on board.
Vinnie shares all this with Frank, and the feds are ready to move on it. The plan is to sweep in the morning of the wedding, prior to Sonny's scheduled execution. To corroborate Vince's information, a 12-hour video camera will be inserted to watch the events of Sonny's bachelor party. This is more than a shade convenient given which events occur in that particular room. If they'd mentioned similarly bugging other large rooms at the club it'd seem more plausible...
Sonny's bachelor party takes place at the country club the night before the wedding. Theme: Lobsters and Mobsters. After dinner, Sonny is prompted for a speech, and he strides down the length of the 30-person table, talking about searching for meaning in life, for something that will fill his soul. He returns to the head of the table, where Patrice sits to his left. Hmm, is that significant?
"Emptiness," he concludes, "comes from isolation. A man who is isolated is empty." With that, he garrotes Paul Patrice. Scullisi attempts to intervene, but Mahoney holds him in place while Aldo plugs him. Sid bursts into tears.
When Pat the cat gurgles his last and faceplants onto his plate, Sonny calmly returns to the head. He addresses the survivors: "So I hold out my hand to those of you who feel isolated, and invite you to join my family."
The responses from the table are telling. The Baglias nod, knowingly, Mack and Hunch agree. Vinnie is left doing his trademarked slow-motion agape-with-horror face without the benefit of special effects. Sonny walks by him, pats him heavily on the shoulder. Past Vince, Sid continues his breakdown, and quickly slides under the table, retching.
While the other guests clear the corpses (and the remains of Sid), Mack stands up and tells Sonny he has a present for him -- though Sonny thinks he's already given enough. A stripper in an Iron Chef Italian outfit slinks in, accompanied by a saxophone player. Vinnie stands to leave, but Sonny won't let him go. Then thirty courtesans arrive for the other guests. They all wander off, leaving Sonny and Vinnie alone.
Sonny breaks the long silence.
"Hey Vinnie?"
"What?"
"Why didn't you tell me Patrice was gonna hit me?"
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| One last look of horror! |
Credits.
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Pros: More great Hunch exposition, and of course the unexpected tables turned on Pat the cat -- done in fine fashion.
Cons: Seems a bit rushed to tie the arc up; serious plot convenience with the camera in the right place.
Then: A
Now: A
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Episode 9: No One Gets Out of Here Alive
We pick up where last week ended, Vinnie and Sonny in the empty ballroom. Vince is trying to stall whatever's going to happen to him long enough for Frank and his army of cops to arrive. Aldo rolls in around 6:30 to dispose of Patrice. Scullisi gets no such courtesy. Aldo offers Sonny his gun to take care of Vinnie, but Sonny waves him off. He's decided to let Vince live, so long as it's far, far away from him.
Just before 7, Aldo, who has the first cell phone in the series, calls Sonny (on the ballroom phone; one of the lesser contrivances in this episode), frantic at the sight of a column of black and whites charging toward the country club. Sonny drops the phone, stunned. While he's reeling, we hear Aldo shouting from the dangling receiver: 12! 13! 15 cars!Sonny puts it all together. He turns on Vinnie, and for once his questioning Vinnie's loyalty is not spurious: You're a cop! He's momentarily angry and tries half-assedly to kill Vinnie. Vinnie helps this by trying to jump up on the table; Sonny throws the table over and sends Vinnie reeling. With that convenient head start, Sonny flees. He jacks an 88 LeBaron convertible, complete with the speech synthesizer dash that's already reminding him to please check his fuel level. Vinnie grabs a groundskeeper's truck and follows.
Frank's army arrives. Aldo evidently having not warned anybody but Sonny; not even his father who is nudged awake by a police shotgun. Perhaps Aldo's still shouting into the phone in the ballroom.
Through a long series of increasingly implausible situations, Vinnie and Sonny end up locked in a theater that's closed for the season and has no phones. They beat the hell out of each other, pass out from exhaustion, and wake up some time near dusk.
Frank meanwhile has secured the country club, seen the video of the (alternate take of -- Mahoney's hands on Sculisi are different than seen in the episode) climax of Sonny's speech, and has fended off a Sid Royce all too happy to get into witness protection, especially since he's a suspect in the murder of an undercover detective.
There's no phone but there is a full bar and a jukebox, and Sonny goes for the whiskey (forgetting that he's been beaten extensively around his mouth; a nice touch). They talk about their respective daddy issues; Sonny posits that Vinnie is compensating for Papa Terranova being a low-level street operator, which is semi-confirmed next season. Then Sonny goes cuckoo bananas singing along with the Rascals' Good Lovin and trashing the bar. He finally settles into sullen silence, and he and Vinnie stare daggers at each other.In the broadcast version, "Nights in White Satin" plays in the background for more than a minute while they silently brood across the room at each other. The dvd producers couldn't afford to clear the song, and it gets replaced by generic BGM. I won't say it exactly ruins the scene, but it lets a lot of the air out.
After the ad break, it's full dark and the police have located the theater. Sonny realizes his moment of truth is here, and begins to psych himself up for incarceration and legal battles. He draws Vinnie into a spurious argument of whether the mob is really worse than the government (and Agent Orange isn't a drug, Salvatore). He thinks he'll get a year, two worst case.
While a cop takes several minutes to sledge a single padlock (seriously; there's more than fifty blows heard on the door), Vinnie gives away that there's video of Patrice's murder. Sonny's bravado evaporates and he makes a fist, begins talking about lethal injection.The door gives, finally, and Sonny has time for a final "I loved you, man!" before plunging his hand into an high-voltage junction and dying.
As good as the dramatic dividends were, the contrivances to get the two of them alone for the bulk of the episode are very difficult to suspend disbelief for.
Even more palpable is the sense of this being the last episode, and Sonny Has to Die. His death feels scripted; Vinnie could've subdued him a dozen times prior to the suicide, but he doesn't really try. He could've not revealed the murder video, and let Sonny discover that once he's arraigned. He could've slipped out of the ballroom and called Frank. He could've suckerpunched Sonny in the morning and called Frank. Like the lack of the original music, the slightly clumsy writing doesn't ruin the episode, but it does hurt.
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Pros: Tons of satisfying payoff to long story, and a memorable send-off for Sonny.
Cons: Music lost, a ton of contrivances to set up the last act.
Then: A+
Now: B+
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