So far, Galactica has been splurging on high-budget set pieces. Part of this was due to the initial plan of the show being a series of TV movies, and budgeted accordingly as they prepared for shooting. Now, with a very expensive series underway for a full-season order, we see the start of stretching a dollar: light visual-fx reworkings of old westerns on standing pieces of the Universal backlot.
Feels a bit thin? Yeah. Within the opening half, Apollo has learned that there's only one Cylon on the planet, but refuses to test the machine's notoriously poor marksmanship with his laser. While it could be Apollo's hesitating to force a confrontation because of Serina's recent death by Cylon, he never says it and I give the writer too much credit to even suggest it here. Further, Apollo goes well out of his way to avoid settling matters; even when his host's sot of a brother (Lance LeGault, a Larson/Bellisario favorite) is slain by Red-Eye, he responds by publicly breaking and/or surrendering the (clearly ineffective) weapons of the crowd and then begging Lacerta for lenience.
After, as young Joey effusively praises Apollo's belated heroics, Apollo illustrates the difference between killing and being heroic; and, laughably, tacks on the homily: "And I pray to God it's something neither of us will ever have to do again!" Apollo is then free to return to the Galactica, where he will kill Cylons for much of the foreseeable future...
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Pros: Adama feeling some misplaced survivor's guilt at all the effort made to rescue "The Commander's son."
Cons: Lacerta's hold on the town should have ended the moment he went to sleep without his pet in the room.
Then: C
Now:D
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Episode 5: The Long Patrol
It's now Starbuck's first solo adventure. As the Galactica moves out of Colonial space, a special patrol mission is created: fly a weaponless (bad idea), super-fast, female-AI-controlled (double bad) Viper on a long range patrol through the sector. Since the volunteer for this dangerous mission receives a free supper at the newly reopened posh dining room aboard the Rising Star, Starbuck jumps at the chance.
Why not have both, each in different dining rooms (accented with an elegant pattern of gold and white wallpaper which looks like my grandparents' 1979 bathroom) and contrive excuses to shuttle between the rooms, Peter Brady style? A telling outtake for the episode included on the dvd has Cassiopeia mentioning her former occupation as a Socialator, something the network wanted quickly swept under the rug. As a tribute to its era, the two only find out about the other by happenstance, and are nearly as amused by Starbuck's irrepressible libido as the steward was.*
Then it's on to the mission, as Starbuck must cope with yet another woman in his life: C.O.R.A, the female-voiced AI of his ship. In no time he's encountered other humans, started another get-rich-quick scheme (selling the penal world's 500-year-old stash of booze to the fleet), been relieved of his sweet new ride, and thrown in jail when mistaken for the bootlegger who swiped CORA.
Just as things are being sorted out, the Cylons make a mandatory appearance, and in their zeal to annihilate the humans they destroy all the stockpiled alcohol.
* The old guy is a pro, dutifully filling Starbuck's demands as he juggles the girls; in parting he commends the behavior as "very pre-war."
Pros: The Galactica actually picks up some strays from the colony.
Cons: Would it have mattered if the Cylons came in and destroyed the Ambrosa or not? This is hardly a series full of tight continuity...
Then: B-
Now: B-
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Episode 6 & 7: The Gun on Ice Planet Zero (Part 1-2)
Having gone to the well for western plots thinly repackaged as Battlestar Galactica, we now repackage the World War II movie. Part Dirty Dozen, part The Guns of Navarone, tGoIPZ relates to an ice planet (imaginatively named Arcta) that the fleet has been herded towards (the Cylon fleet apparently found them between episodes), and its mountaintop Grand Cannon, one large enough to destroy the Galactica as it passes the planet at lightspeed. Uh huh, it's that ridiculous. When Starbuck proposes a bombing raid by the Viper pilots, Adama rules it a mass suicide and not an option.
In Speed Racer fashion, Boxey and Muffitt (who wanted to see snow) have stowed away on the shuttle's Thiokol SnowRam, and no one feels as if the boy isn't entitled to a bit of adventure planetside. While mopping up the last Raider that's hounding them, Starbuck is such an excellent shot that he briefly turns Arcta into an unstable Carillon!
During the long trek to the gun's emplacement, our Dirty Half-Dozen begin to chafe. Seating two of the convicts atop the Thiokol SnowRam for a stretch (Boxey and Muffet taking up 1.5 seats), Wolfe, who looks so mean he is surely evil, shoots his fellow and blows out the Thiokol SnowRam's power. Out of power and stuck on the aptly named "Deathpoint Plateau," the squad waits for the end.
Then Muffet, lacking opposable thumbs, opens a door and rushes off for help.* Which he finds; a hunting group of Theta-class lifeforms (that is, human clones; nordic clones at that, all dressed like Oompa Loompas) bring everyone to shelter, rustle up food and drink, and not only drop exposition about the human designer of the Pulsar gun, they reluctantly agree to lead the team there! Score one for Muffett!
On his baseship, Baltar has climbed down from his high seat to pace (actually, it looks like he's got a bit of a limp) in a circle. Adama's hesitation to lead the fleet into the Pulsar's range has vexed him greatly; when Lucifer brings word the infiltration mission survived, he decides to advance the timetable by sacrificing all of his fighters in a suicidal attack meant to push the fleet forward. This callous disregard for his forces shocks poor Lucifer, who must know by now the thin ice he's walking on.** It does allow large portions of time to be eaten by the stock viper launch, dogfight footage (that diagonally-oriented Raider explosion, the "Galactica turret shot," is seen eight times!) and with all the principal pilot characters down on Arcta, there's no audience investment in the fleet-centered portions of the episode.
Just as they near their destination, Wolfe leads a minor, failed mutiny of the surviving convicts. Ultimately, only he leaves; Apollo declares him to be 'as good as dead.' The betrayal of Wolfe and redemption of Croft are just more filler -- neither is ever mentioned again.
For reasons apart from TV drama unexplained, the infiltration team waits until the very last possible second to begin their assault; after the fleet is within range of the gun. Tigh freaks out more than once at the approach of certain death. Since they apparently destroy every Cylon manning the weapon, why bother destroying it? Just cease fire, let the fleet pass, and allow Ravishol and his Thetans to control it when the Cylons return for payback.***
* At least on Carillon, Jolly opened the door for him!
** At this point in the series, Baltar does seem to be playing both sides; while his behavior is better explained by inconsistent writing, as of here, he's playing with Adama, herding him on toward Arcta yet not inflicting any serious damage. His slow movement (as well as failing to share information with the unfortunate Centurion garrison on Arcta -- they're actually torturing Cree to tell them where the Galactica is!) gives the Colonials all the time they need to remove the Pulsar.
*** Speculating on a modern variant of Gun: Croft, the sole surviving convict, could be a recurring character hereafter. The Thetans get control of the Pulsar, and in a highly entertaining epilogue, destroy one of the three to four pursuing basestars as they near Arcta.
Pros: Enjoy the liberal use of exotic sets; it's the last we'll see of them for awhile.
Cons: Subplots with little payoff: Cree, the convicts mutiny/redemption, the Thetans, Ravishol himself.
Then: A
Now: C
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Episode 8: The Magnificent Warriors
In terms of warmed-over plot accentuated by zero-consequences and grating guest stars, this is perhaps the nadir of the series. We begin in media res with a Cylon atack. It's one of their more effective encounters -- destroying two of the fleet's three agro-ships (cue the stock footage from 1972's Silent Running) and wrecking the harvest. So the main cast gets to go planetside to seek crop seeds from another of the small human settlements that by rights one of the patrol pilots should be crash-landing near. Fearing Cylon pursuit, they arrive incognito: Sire Cartwright and his sons, bartering for seed.
Once in the town of, yes, Serenity, Starbuck is hoodwinked into accepting the job of the recently-deceased Constable. See, the town is under regular raids by John Saxon.. er, Eli Wallach... er, the Borays, who look like the Orc delegation to Worldcon. It's up to the Colonial warriors, using strength and guile, to save the browncoat town.
Pros: Greene's horrorstruck grimaces.
Cons: Everything else.
Then: C
Now: D-
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