TV: Battlestar Galactica Classic, Disc 6

Episode 19: Baltar's Escape


Here we learn the disadvantages of keeping all your defeated enemies in one place.  Baltar, the Borellian Nomen, and the Easties make a simultaneous escape.  Baltar assumes his intimate knowledge of the Colonial society and his winning, self-aggrandizing conversational ability will ensure the Alliance treats him as well as the Cylons did.  After they commuted his execution, anyway.

Angry Tigh is the best!

Coinciding their jailbreak with the Quorum's latest example of why-the-civilian-government-knows-nothing,* the escapees momentarily hold the council, Adama, and other notables as hostages pending their escape.  Naturally, a desperate, some might say crazy rescue plan succeeds brilliantly, recapturing a hapless, furious Baltar but allowing the Easties to escape -- because the Galactica is tracing them back to their base.



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* Apollo himself equates losing martial law with putting every military person into shackles.  Seriously.  Next week came an even worse lecture on the same subject.   As with most large groups minor characters, only one does any talking or receives a name.

Pros:  Tigh getting something near center stage, finally.  And he's mad as hell!
Cons: The Quorum is amazingly, jaw-dropping stupid and short of memory.



Episode 20: Experiment in Terra


As poor an opponent as the Cylons were on a week-to-week basis, there's a sense that late in its season the series had little idea what direction to take.  More interesting long-term plans are tossed out as  Experiment in Terra returns the "ship of lights" angels/aliens as a conceptual backdoor pilot to co-producer Don Bellisario's Quantum Leap.

Apollo is plucked out of the timestream to journey to Terra, motherworld of the Easties, the Westies, Michael and Sarah and the survivors on Paradeen.  There, using the form of one of their lost military pilots (whose origins he immediately disavows, making him look more insane than honest) he must put right what is about to go wrong: an even less subtle (!) version of the beware-of-detente parable from Galactica's premiere:  the phony truce to cover an all-out strike.    John (Edward Mulhare, soon the head of Knight Industries) is his angelic-alien guide, who in the best television tradition cannot be seen nor heard by regular Terrans.


Once Apollo has been arrested, we see the reverse of Baltar's Escape -- the Westies also place all their enemies in one cell block.  Apollo earns the quick trust of high-ranking Westies, who have been disappeared for their hard-right views.   Shocked at Apollo's story, even the hardliners balk at the idea of employing the Bush doctrine at the news of an imminent nuclear strike by the evil-for-the-sake-of-evil Easties.*  Such naivete.

Fortunately, Starbuck is also on the case, quickly penetrating Terra's defenses (led by Q!) and easily frees Apollo and his new friends.  As the supporting character in this story, Starbuck gets the messenger role usually reserved for Boomer, and rushes back to warn the Galactica of the imminent all-out nuclear war.

Using a very convenient magical-technology force field never before seen (sure would've been handy in a dozen previous instances...) the Galactica parks in Terra orbit and blocks the entire surface of the planet from all of the Soviet-Nazi ICBMs.

For starters, I'll sing "The Candyman"

Intermixed with the orbital deus ex machina, the real climax of the episode is Apollo's "This is John Galt Speaking" filibuster, delaying the ratification of the Easties' sham peace treaty.   He stands before the entire, clueless government of the Westies and articulates at length the series' philosophical underpinnings that are usually kept in the margins (this episode was written by series creator Glen Larson). Peace is equal to slavery.  Seeking peace through diplomacy is foolish at best; treason at worst.  Only military might keeps you free. Trust the military, they know best.

Also: Y'all elected this guy in the creamsicle double-breasted turtleneck?


With their war machine slapped down, the Easties sue for peace.  But Apollo just told the Westies that peace=slavery!  His allies in the Terra military can only offer the old Superfriends chestnut: Those Eastern Alliance folks won't be double-dealing us for some time!    There's an outcome to savor, having been spared nuclear war...

* The Easties are so evil in fact, that their sneak attack is launched without even notifying their civilians.  "Over-population is one of our most severe problems," notes Eastie #1.

Pros:  I was quite impressed to see Starbuck making proper use of the word 'myriad.'
Cons:  Why do the primitive Terrans have better detention technology than the Colonials?

Then: A-
Now: C+

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Episode 21: Take the Celestra

Viagra joke in 1979?

Ah, the episode I've seen the least.  With the recent changes to the fleet's status quo, it's a little strange to see a story centered on the goings-on aboard the Celestra, lead of the "three industry ships."   A chance meeting with another of his old flames draws Starbuck into both a go-nowhere love quadrangle and a double plot to mutiny the titular ship,  commanded by an former Admiral of the 4th Battlestar fleet.  Old Kronos is a stock military hardass, and his people are chafing under his grumpy, by-the-book attitude. The only thing remotely original about Kronos is the lack of a hidden heart of gold -- the old guy is an SOB to the end.

Starbuck and Apollo time their visit to old-flame Aurora impeccably: they land just as the mutineers make their move: taking the Celestra out of the fleet to find a new home, perhaps one of Terra's colonies.  Thanks to the timely visit, the mutiny is quickly put down and the boys are shuttling back when a passed-over-for-promotion  first officer stages his own mutiny!

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Pros: For such a minor story, there were new miniature fx shots!
Cons: Why does everyone in this episode say "on this fleet" instead of in, or on this ship as they do elsewhere?

Then: C
Now: C


Episode 22: The Hand of God

The series finale isn't treated as such, there is some sense of accidental closure.  The fleet sneaks a peek at a  Cylon Basestar, the first since Baltar surrendered.   Perhaps the lack of a military engagement since Gamoray has Adama's blood up: rather than mew about the potential loss of life, he wants to take these toasters out.  Key to his plan is the usual duo sneaking aboard the Basestar using Baltar's captured fighter -- as well as captured Baltar's inside knowledge -- to sabotage the Cylon sensors.

Without Baltar counter-plotting for the Cylons, it's up to the toasters to provide the villainy, but by now we're all too familiar with how poorly Centurions match the human tactics.* So it's a fairly low-tension battle: think the good guys will lose?

The Hand of God's B plot is more interesting.   Now that Boxey has been effectively written out of the show,  Apollo's a swinging single with a newly acquired love-nest: the observatory dome on Galactica's aft.   He and Sheba double with Starbuck and Cassi (strangely, while everyone's part of the Colonial military, the girls wear civvies, guys stay in uniform) and while enjoying the view and working the episode title into dialogue, they get some snippets of NASA communication from the, er, Apollo era.   The B plot is the only thing that suffers a loss in the Cylon battle: the signal recordings.   Lured away by a hot Sheba, he abandons the receiver to just narrowly miss iconic "Eagle has landed," highlights from 1969.

* An IL would at least make this interesting.  Why not have Lucifer?  It would make sense that Baltar's ship has been trailing him since his capture.
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Pros: Nice double use of the Basestar miniature.   Also, after a long departure from the series' original premise, a tasty if not especially nutritious story. A Big Mac, if you will.

Cons: We'll never know if the Colonials saw the NASA signal.

Then: A
Now: A-